If you’ve ever felt like ‘finding a therapist’ is too confusing, overwhelming or just difficult to tackle on your own, then this blog post is for you.
I know what it feels like when there are so many options to choose from that we end up not doing anything at all! The problem being that we end up not tackle the problems we are wanting to resolve and so nothing changes.
Therapeutic Relationship
Research repeatedly shows that is it the therapeutic relationship – the relationship between you and your therapist that is of the most benefit for healing, rather than the therapeutic approach used! So, with this is mind, how might you find the therapist that is right for you and your own individual needs?
Speak To The Therapist Before Committing
Spending some time talking to a prospective therapist about what you are wanting to address, what you are hoping for from therapy and finding out about how someone works will give you a sense of whether you feel you can build a connection with them; not so much from the actual content of the therapists answers or the questions that they might ask of you, but in the how of how this is done. Does the therapist listen carefully, are they compassionate, are they sensitively direct? Do you feel as if you could build a relationship with them? Is this therapist right for you and your own individual needs?
Trust Your Gut Instinct!
Most of the time, if we listen, we intuitively know if we resonate with someone. If we can trust ourselves to listen to our inner sense of knowing can be challenging when we are reaching out for support and perhaps feeling vulnerable in doing so. That in itself can make us doubt our inner voice and make the process of trusting ourselves more difficult.
One of the therapeutic goals of healing is actually learning to listen to and hear the call of our inner knowing, how we connect and learn to trust that voice inside that so often we have learned to doubt and distrust. Perhaps this is the time to listen deeply and heed to how you are feeling in response.
Does The Therapist Offer An Appropriate Approach For Your Needs?
While we have already said that it is the relationship that matters, there are times when the actual approach that is being offered is important. Can the therapist explain how they work and how the approach that they work with benefit what you are wanting to work on? There are times when addressing underlying or more active trauma symptoms can be expedited through specific trauma-based approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR).
While I might be biased in respect of these approaches, it is because I have personally benefitted from them and have witnessed the profound power they can have to activate our own innate healing flow!
Is The Therapist Experienced?
While it isn’t always necessary to have a therapist who is experienced in your particular issue, there are times too when it can be really helpful. If you are struggling with addiction for example, having a therapist who understands both about addiction and also works in a trauma-informed way could be beneficial. If you are involved in a narcissistic or domestically abusive relationship, working with someone who is aware of the particularities of this work in respect of things like safety and trauma bonding can be really supportive.
Are You Being Treated Like A WHOLE Person?
While many people believe that they see a psychotherapist of counsellor for psychological or emotional difficulties, I believe that we need to take into account ‘all’ of ourselves – phsycially, emotionally, spiritually, cognitively as well as wider factors such as our families, communities, cultures and contexts that we find ourselves in. If we fail to look at the ‘whole’ we can be missing important information. Additionally, many complaints that occur phsycially may indeed have an emotional or psychological origin and these could be missed if your therapist is only interested in what happens for you ‘above the shoulders’! ? Working holistically, I believe that all of you is important and worthy of attending to.
Is The Therapist Experienced?
While it isn’t always necessary to have a therapist who is experienced in your particular issue, there are times too when it can be really helpful. If you are struggling with addiction for example, having a therapist who understands both about addiction and also works in a trauma-informed way could be beneficial. If you are involved in a narcissistic or domestically abusive relationship, working with someone who is aware of the particularities of this work in respect of things like safety and trauma bonding can be really supportive.
Practical
Arrangements
It’s helpful to find out some of the practicalities to offer reassurance about the therapist’s professionalism. Do they have professional insurance? Does your therapist have a Professional Registration? Does the therapist work with health insurance companies if you are planning on utilising your health insurance cover? Are the fees affordable? If the therapist only offers in person sessions, is it practical for you to get there or will the distance and travel arrangements leave you feeling more stressed? Is the therapist able to offer a time and day that will work for you USE TRUSTED SITES to research your therapist.
There are a number of therapist directories where you will be able to find therapists. Some of these are directly available to therapists via their Professional Body such as the BACP ‘Find a Therapist’ or through an accrediting organisation such as EMDR UK – Find a Therapist. There are also other directories that therapists can pay for listings in – popular ones include ‘Psychology Today’ or ‘Good Therapy’
Ask For Recommendations
A trusted recommendation from a doctor, friend or someone you know might also be a good place to start, even if it’s not the therapist you end up with. Your own needs might differ to someone you know who has seen the same therapist but a trusted therapist might also be willing to offer recommendations.
Speak To Different Therapists Before You Make a Final Decision
Give yourself the permission to explore different therapists before deciding who you would like to work with! This might take more time and effort but you are investing in yourself and it is worthwhile taking time to try to ensure you get the best fit for you!
Flexibility: Online Or In Person?
While ‘tele-health’ has been long established practice within psychotherapy and counselling, this way of working has become much more popular since the pandemic. The research supporting the benefits of online therapy are also demonstrating its benefits. Having a therapist that is able to offer the flexibility of online working might be really beneficial even if you prefer to have in-person sessions. Many clients find that they are more relaxed in their own space and feel more supported following sessions, rather than having to leave and face a long busy journey. In the event of not being able to get to the therapists premises, it is also a really useful alternative to support therapeutic progress.